Thursday, December 20, 2007

Santa brings Cordelia a man!


When last we left our heroine, she was enroute from Vegas to the Big Apple. From JFK, she was whisked by limousine to the Barclay Intercontinental, where she began her delightful Christmas weekend.


She met dear friends for dinner at Toqueville's, caught shows (Mama Mia, Avenue Q, The Color Purple, Radio City, to name a few), brunched at Tavern on the Green, and risked life and limb on Canal Street to snap up a few Coach knockoffs for friends.
The lightly falling snow, the tree in Rockefeller Center, the skating rink in Central Park--it could not have been more ideal. But what made it more perfect is this: Cordelia fell in love. (That's him with the stripes...)
(Christmas card to Joe: I am so over you! Happy New Year! Signed, Cordelia)

They skated at Rockefeller Center, window-shopped along Fifth Avenue, lit a candle at St. Patrick's Cathedral. But will the love last? CAN love last between a reckless human heart and one stuffed to bursting with polyfil?

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

A Quick Trip to Vegas!!!


I am soooo-oooo-ooo tired, what with my aunt coming to live with me (more later). But I had PROMISED Celine I would get to Vegas for her 717th (and FINAL!) show.

How could I say no? Celine has been so good to me over the years. [That's her waving goodbye to me...I just love that girl!] But I told her, "Celine, I don't have much time! I have to make a flight to New York City tomorrow. My people are expecting me!" She said she understood.

I barely had time for a Belini and Brazilian wax at the Belagio!



But after Celine's show, I found myself on stage with the Fab Four. They say I have the voice of an angel, and I am inclined to agree, but I had promised Celine that as long as SHE was playing Vegas, I wouldn't open my golden throat. But now that her show was over...I could finally sing!

And I WAS singing, when a woman with fiendish red nails snatched me up to make me her own. "You must sing at my son's Bar Mitsvah!" My knees were weak, my head was spinning. How to escape?



John, Ringo, Paul! But my shouts fell on deaf ears. She stuffed me into her Vuitton travelling bag and made off with me!

But not for long. It is not for nothing that I was technical advisor to MacGyver all those years. I ESCAPED! But only by a strand of yarn! No matter. I live to travel another day. More from the Big Apple!

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Oh no! Cordelia's aunt is coming to live with her!

Ophelia Payne, (Cordelia's aunt on her mother's side) who has worked as a librarian in Rhode Island these past 57 years, has sold her belongings and moved to Texas (by way of the Artgirlz World Headquarters!) to live with her favorite niece after her husband of 62 years ran off with one Fanny O'Rear (who ran the senior's bingo night at the Free Will Baptist Church and apparently was *doing more* than lining up numbers, if you know what I mean) leaving Ophelia broken-hearted but determined to make the best of it with a new start in the Lone Star state. More news to come!